lundi 4 avril 2005

Les maximes du management moderne

(Elles sont trop belles en anglais et je suis un trop mauvais traducteur,
alors je vous les livre telles quelles:)
  • Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings,
    they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
  • If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...
    then you probably haven't completely understood
    the seriousness of the situation....
  • Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
  • Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
  • Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
  • A person who smiles in the face of adversity... probably has a scapegoat.
  • Plagiarism saves time.
  • If at first you don't succeed, try management.
  • Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
  • TEAMWORK... means never having to take all the blame yourself.
  • The beatings will continue until morale improves.
  • Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
  • We waste time, so you don't have to.
  • Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
  • Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
  • A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.
  • When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.
  • INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
  • Succeed in spite of management.
  • Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.
(source : un camarade anonyme qui veut garder sa place...)

4 commentaires:

  1. Chouette liste.
    J'avais une variante pour celle ci :
    "If at first you don't succeed, try management"
    "If you can't do, teach. If you can't teach, consult..."

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  2. >AlainF: voir l'entrée Consultant de mon Dictionnaire impertinent des branchés et son histoire du berger.

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  3. Bien vu !
    Je ferai un lien lors d'un prochain billet à propos du consultant/consulting
    A+

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  4. Ptit jeu : remplaçons certains mots par d'autres.
    A la première citation, je remplacerais "Rome" par "Microsoft" ;-)

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